Once there was a young queen with all the riches she can hold in her castle but the one wish that could not be fulfilled, the one wish that had kept her awake late at night was a child. The king could do nothing to satisfy his queen. He even had several infants brought to the castle but the queen was determined to have a child of her own.
With her desperately hungry, half-broken heart, she sought the old witch that was once her mother's servant girl. When the king had fallen asleep, the queen snuck out with her servant girl down the dusty road, through the forbidden forest, down the river, there under the yellow moon was the witch's cabin. It was in the grasp of near ruins but stabled enough to live in. She had met the witch once as a child but did not remembered her.
The queen gently knocked on the wooden door. Inside she heard a raspy voice,"Who's there?" The door flew open without a sound. The queen's girl servant, frighten to the bones, clung to the queen's arm. The queen had no fear. Her desperate heart will not let her. She expelled her name and the nature of her visit.
The witch's face was hidden in the darkness but once the queen entered, it immediately got lit by the fireplace. Her face was wrinkled and pale but the beauty she once had was still vibrant through her grey eyes and pale pink lips.
Inside, the place was surprisingly cleaned and free of dirt. The queen pulled off her white gloves to warm her hands in the fireplace. The servant girl was too cold to be scare now as she warmed her hands.
The witch whose name was Selma in the days that the queen had known her, did nothing to welcome the queen and instead sat by the wooden chair by the bed. The queen started to called her Selma but the witch stopped her and told her not to bother with names. Again the queen stated her reasons for the visit but the witch already knew. In fact, she was wondering when the queen was going to show up.
The witch produced a round object covered in a black sheet. She pulled off the sheet to reveal a little robin, more beautiful than any creature that the queen had ever seen. The queen asked the witch why. And her reply, "You'll see in time. Bring the robin back to me as it is in one month time. Now leave me." The witch laid down on her bed and closed her eyes. The queen and the servant girl took the robin with them as they headed back to the castle.
The robin was kept in her cage in the queen's garden. The queen, fearing it might escape, selected a special knight to guard the cage where it resides on a stone table surrounded by flowers and beautiful fabrics and was fed the best food.
Night and day the queen visited the robin but each day, she sighed. Each day, her frustration grew. Many times, she had to leave the robin so as not to show her anger in its presence. Many restless nights the queen stared out her bedroom window at the garden below, waiting.
The days slowly crawled by and the queen's anxiety grew worst. Once again, she visited the witch. But the witch told her what she had said before. The queen kept her anger inside and calmly asked the witch if there is any other way.
The witch stared at her, her grey eyes calmed and cleared. "Return the robin in a fortnight and I will grant you your wish," was all the witch said. The queen left the witch's cabin knowing she must do as the witch told her.
But a few days before the queen was to return to the witch, the robin flew away when the knight opened its cage to feed the robin. The queen in her haste and anger told the knight if he cannot bring back the robin before sunset, he will be beheaded.
The knight upon hearing the queen's words, grew pale and immediately got on his horse. But toward the end of the night, the knight could not find the robin. In his desperation, he went to his friend, Robin, who happened to raise robins, and had the exact robin the knight was looking for. Indeed it was the same robin that escaped from the queen's garden. Robin had found it flying near her shop with a broken wing. She was willing to give the robin to the knight as long it was kept safe. The knight agreed and quickly got on his horse. With the robin in a cage, he raced as fast as his horse can go before the sun was about to set.
The queen inspected the robin but could not decide if it was the same one. She questioned the knight and the knight lied. Indeed to her, it looked the same but the queen could not be certain but placed the robin in its cage and retired for the night.
The queen twisted and turned in her bed. The king was away on a missionary trip so the queen was not only restless with worry but the anger at the knight had not ceased. She tried to think what will she tell the witch. Will the witch would be able to tell the difference? But the thought keeps turning in her head keeping her awake even as the sun rise in the sky.
The queen, tired as she was, went down to the garden. The robin's colorful feathers looked even more beautiful in the morning light. Perhaps this is the same robin, she thought. But then she noticed three blue eggs underneath the robin. Surprised by their presence, the queen opened the cage to inspect farther but when she reach inside, the robin peck at her hand. The queen screeched as she quickly pulled her hand away and locked the cage. What will she tell the witch? She called out to the knight that had stood next to the cage the whole night and told him to remove the eggs from the cage. But the robin pecked the knight's hand causing a small drop of blood to fall on the eggs.
"I want those eggs taken out at once!" The queen commanded the knight. Again, the knight tried but could not reach the eggs as the robin almost bit his fingers off. "I cannot!" he shout to the queen kneeling on one knee and begged the queen to reconsider. The queen once again told the knight if those eggs are not out of the cage by the next morning's sunrise, he will be beheaded. She rushed inside the castle leaving the knight to ponder his predicament. The knight wanted so much to keep his head and so he once again called on his friend, Robin. She quickly came to the queen's garden but told the knight it is not possible to remove the eggs from the robin, she is protecting her unborn children. But Robin had a solution - feed the robin with some wine and while she sleeps, gently remove the eggs. The knight was in too dire a situation not to try her advice.
In the morning, the queen, upon seeing the cage with the robin and without the eggs, was satisfied enough not to behead the knight. Without her servant girl, the queen took the robin to the witch. But on the way, the robin started to sing and each time, when the queen thought it had stopped, it started again. The queen tried to ignore it but the robin's singing keeps getting louder and louder. Finally the queen covered the robin's cage with one of her shawl. That ceased the robin's singing.
At the witch's cabin, the queen said nothing about the eggs nor the escape of the robin. The witch took the robin without a word and placed it on the table as she and the queen sip tea.
The queen tried to keep as calm as she can while she sip her tea. She kept her thoughts to herself for fear that her voice might give her away. The witch silently sips her tea and did not look at the queen. Instead her eyes were focused on the robin who now had started to sing a beautiful sad melody. The queen couldn't keep her hands steady and had to place her tea cup down on the table.
"You have made a mistake," the witch said. The queen innocently asked what she meant by that.
"You have not done as I instructed and now I cannot grant you your wish." The queen, surprised by the witch's words, suddenly grew angry and shouted at the witch. "Why?" she kept asking.
The witch remained calm, still sipping her tea. "You know why. You did not returned the robin as it was. I know its song. Now how can you except me to grant you your wish when you willingly separate the bird from her children?"
"You told me to return the robin as she was. I did as you told me." The queen's voice shook with that last statement. Her tears spilled out and fell onto her hands.
"It's unkind to separate parents from their children." The witch's kind voice did not soothed the queen's heart. She pulled the queen's hands from her face and wiped her tears with her soft finger. "Your mother took you away from me in return for gold. I was foolish and young and...unhappily unwed. But now I see I had chosen wrong. So, my child, young as you are, you will get your wish." The witch's hand cupped the queen's smooth face. "You will need to have patience." The witch then kissed the queen's forehead and went to lay down, this time her eyes closed for good.
The queen could not believed what she had just heard. The witch was, is her mother? How could that be? When her mother told her the witch had granted her a child, did she meant me? The queen's mind jumbled with memories of her mother and suddenly she felt sadder than ever. The robin during all this time had been singing. The queen knew what she had to do as she listened to the robin's sad song.
The queen had the witch, her mother, buried in her garden and returned the robin's eggs. The robin resided in the garden with her three youngsters. The queen finally got her wish. A beautiful boy was born after a year of snowy and thunderous weather. The queen still remembered the kiss from the witch as she held her son. She often looked to the robin and think of her.
Search Engine Stories Prompt: I Had A Little Robin
Revised on 9/23/08
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9 Comments:
you never cease to amaze lissa... where do you find the inspiration???
I agree with Paisley. This is a wondrous tale. The robin and the eggs is such a marvellous touch. I loved this from start to finish. ABSOLUTELY LOVED!!!! It is an honour and a pleasure to read your work.
Nice take on a fairy tale, Lissa.
very beautiful Lissa very very beautiful
Hi Lissa, I agree with the others. You have written an amazing, inspirational, beautiful take on a fairy tale.
However, I would like to point that this story (like other stories of yours that I have read) suffers from verb tense inconsistency.
Verb Tense Consistency http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_tensec.html
But let me end with a positive, I think your story would make a great children’s film or tele-movie.
Regards,
David
Thanks, David. I do have that problem, I often have this undecideness in picking tense, I'm not so great at editing so I only edit once or twice, Thanks for pointing it out, I'm still trying to do better
Truly lovely story as always Lissa. I found the double entendre of this line just delightful! "The king could do nothing to satisfy his queen." Rather a bit of a wink for the grown-ups ;)
The lessons here about honesty and truth are really done well and are from a fresh and interesting perspective. Which I see as no small trick given all that has already been written about truth and honesty. Nicely done!
I'm glad David brought up the grammar topic. I've been thinking how much your work could shine even more with some attention to the technical details of the grammar - your stories really are so very creative and lovely.
So, I have a couple of suggestions to offer that might be helpful.
If you don't know about the grammar girl blog, the site is quite good and the "episodes" are very interestingly done. The information is easy to digest and she has covered a great many grammar topics. Here's the link grammar girl
Another suggestion for helping the editing process is to read the work out loud, paying close attention to what doesn't sound right to your ear - that is almost always a good indicator of where and what to edit. You may feel a little doofy reading to your keyboard (I always do, so sometimes I read to our cats...) but it is so very helpful.
It is also exceptionally helpful (perhaps essential at some point) to get a "close read" (i.e. line by line with notation of what is working well and what isn't, and why) of at least 2 or 3 of your pieces by someone who is skilled at review and critique. In this way you can see what is and isn't working technically, and most importantly find out why.
I look forward to reading more of your lovely stories, it seems to me you have lots of great writing in you. Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful work!!
Very nice story, and very creative. I especially like how you put our dear Selma into the story! Yay!
A special thanks for the links from David and Kayt. I intend to follow them for some helpful tips.
This is what I love - all the writers helping each other out. Tense can be a thorn in the side for many writers and sometimes in our haste to get the story out we forget where we are. Please don't worry or be hard on yourself because I do it too. Your rewrite is even better than the original.
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