an idea came just as the train rushed by
inside the cool box, against the door
I write on a piece of folded paper
my black pen flipping, scribbling thoughts
while the train bounce the words here and there
the scenery of trees and people change places
the sun begins to shower the train
shadows quickly forming and disappearing
as we enter the dark tunnel
flashes of words seep inside my head
another quick scribbling smeared
as the train makes a unexpected pause then continues
an announcement came but in a blur
my attention elsewhere
finally my stop came
stepping outside into the open air
my thoughts mingle with the sun
my piece of paper safely tuck inside my bag
ready to be rewritten into form
Pen Me A Poem Poetry Prompt: Writing Desk
Monday Poetry Train
I am still an amateur at writing but hopefully I can get better with each new piece. I welcome any critiques or criticism. 
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10 Comments:
It's always terrible when you have a thought, but have no means of writing it down.
I can relate to this. I have had such moments.
Somebody that has thoughts rushing everywhere!It this how this poem got written!
Great energy to this poem - really felt as if I was on that train! Well done!!!
I love that picture - makes me miss Toronto. I often write on the bus, believe it or not. I've developed a way of writing that takes all those bumps and jerks in stride. The writing is messy but legible. And that's all you need when the thoughts strike.
diggin the title lissa... it is as if i am there... so true when the writer writes one must write... then later trying to figure out what my scribble sez...
This reminds me so much of my years living in central Berlin, where daily I travelled the U-bahn. I would watch people and scenes then write about them in the evenings.
Thank you for the memories in this interesting poem.
You create a genuine sense of motion. Expression is so elusive at speed.
With all the motion, I think I was hoping the paper would fly away with the wind and onto the tracks.
Wonderful write, a beautiful scene filled with deeper symbolism as well as being enjoyable on a surface level.
great photo. i love the way your words mirror the image and stop and start the way a train does.
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