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Artwork by Mariposa Viajera
I recreate our song
night upon nights
on the shores of our youth
the lonely moon as my constant companion
the cold wind guides you to me
lurking in your fading existent
your breath invisible upon my shoulders
our thoughts travel between time
sharing the same temperamental heart
but breathing disjoined air
will time keep you here with me
or will it snatch you back to your earlier fate
back to the lonely halls of the netherworld
will our fate languish as the nights shift to day
or will we meet again in our shared destiny
wish upon the glistening moon
our yearnings for unity
Read other Monday Mural at Poefusion.
Shared Destiny
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lissa
8 Post A Comment:
... and they shall meet again, someday. Beautiful poem. I think it works well without the question marks but, I think that has to be a personal preference. I understand it is a question though without the markings. Have a nice day.
I read the line as a question, because of the word "will."
I wouldn't add the question mark, because you didn't use punctuation in any of the lines.
Your poem is lovely.
this is definitely a vehicle for the feeling of longing... i know that feeling well... this is very well written lissa,, and i agree with christine,,, the question mark is invoked... you don't need it if you don't want it....
I don't usually post comments until I've written something myself, but I wanted to say how I read the poem. i see it as being addressed to the loved one and the last three verses being posed as a question. As you have written it without punctuation, it works without a question mark. you evoke a mood of wistful longing. lovely!
This is wonderfully full of imagery. I really like it.
right off the bat...love your new blog..the poem the way images weaved in and out of time...was perfect...
The questions were obvious without the punctuation.
"Your breath invisible upon my shoulders" and "sharing the same temperamental heart" both grabbed my attention.
Somehow not having question marks makes the questions softer and more wistful... a feeling of wondering and yearning rather than actively questioning.
Works very well, anyway!
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Saying what we think gives us a wider conversational range than saying what we know.
Cullen Hightower