Dream Days at the Hotel Existence

I always have my head up in the clouds chasing after memories that I cannot follow. But what I don't remember stays with me, following me everywhere I go around this strange hotel as I struggle to invade the living. I only exist partially here in this world as I have no real body. I don't remember when or how I got here. All I know is that I had been here and now is still here.

Sometimes I dream I was lost and running from some unknown black shadow that keeps chasing me, forever in a loop of discontinuation. I can never see the shadow but I know it's behind me as I run from room to room looking for refuge. I can feel its eagerness coming closer and closer. Just as it was about to touch me, my eyes will then suddenly open and I would feel cold and strange, unsure of where I am or what I am.

Now and then some guy would bring his girlfriend here for some afternoon delight. And why not? The furniture are all intact though covered in cobwebs and dust. In their haste, they may glimpse an image of me in a dusty old mirror or some shiny object. The guy would jump in fright and run off with his pants in his hand, leaving his girlfriend by herself. She would leave feeling more angry than fearful. I don't mean to frighten them but they scare me more than I did them.

There were many nights my true love and I stood at the window wishing on the same moon in these large hotel rooms. Our secret rendezvouses were the sweetest days of my life. But the images are cloudy now, their details hidden behind some dark curtains. The look on her face, the feel of her body against mine - all gone from my thoughts. The more I try to remember, the more it drives me mad. But one thing I could never forget was her name - Serena. She used to sign her name with the "S" in long curves shaped like a woman's body. I am here waiting here for her. I don't know if she's ever coming back but I do know I am not leaving here without her. I wander the halls like a lost child, searching for her, hoping to see her face once more.

Here in this abandon hotel, I am alone among the ghosts that sticks close to the peeling wallpapers and keeps me as their unwanted companion. The daylight hours lingers on, lasting longer than usual. Whenever I see the shadows on the wall beginning to drop to the floor, I know night has come to seek my nightmares and daydreams.

Who really cares if I existed anyway? Nobody sees me. I am slightly out of sync with the rest of the world - surviving on what little memories I can rob from my own, fractured mind. I have a long way to go before I can leave this place. Each day I would open my eyes and find myself still here, still forgetting. The hidden black tears shed themselves without my consent. They drip down my invisible cheeks singing a ballad of a dead man. I'm constantly drifting further away from the real world, each time I feel less and less like me.

I would go down by the dam sometimes and stare at the still water and dream of Serena. I can still taste bits of her sweet presence here and there. Remembering one moment and forgetting the next - my mind see-saw from one image to the next but never seem to settle at any one place. If only I can hold on to these memories like capturing home movies that I can watch, moment by moment, frame by frame of the life that I had forgotten. There were times when I thought I could leave this place but I fear I will forever be haunting these empty hallways, passing other leftover dwellers - waiting. I shudder to think of what had gone on in the past and what will continue even now as I wait for the end that might never come. I imagine it to be a terrible moment in time where my existence is of no importance to anyone.

For Three Word Wednesday.

I'm always looking for new ways to dictate my writing so here I am trying something new. I randomly pick an album with a title that I like from the Wiki pages and use the track listening in the story. The titles are from an album called,"Dream Days at the Hotel Existence" by Australian rock band Powderfinger. I'm not familiar with this band but I really like the album title. The titles are highlight in blue.